What Happened?
Went for my MRI this morning, yes I was late. My grandmom didn't call until almost 7. She wasn't even home. I didn't know that she took my grandpop to the hospital at 3am because he had stopped breathing again. They are keeping him longer this time because he's getting bad. I really don't feel like losing using him yet. That's something I wouldn't be able to put up with.
Anywho, I went... did a punch of tests and what not. They found a small crack in my right cheekbone that nothing can be really done. I just have to wait it out. The doctor is putting me on a high dosage of calcium mediacation to help my bones get stronger since they break so easily. Part of it is the fact that I barely drink milk (I don't like it that much). Then she told me about how I have to try and lessen the amount of damage I take to my face because my cheekbones and shit are wearing down. I've been seeing Dr. Fran since I was 12. Haha. My first 3/4 breaks were due to non-relationship reasons. All hockey. Then when I started dating (around 14) is where physical abuse started. Jay was my first boyfriend, and the first to start the abuse trend. When we had broken up, he had taken my nose with him. Hah. I had some problems with him about 6 months after the break up where he basically mutulated by face every time... Dr. Fran suggested that I started seeing on a regular basis if I take any major blows to my body, especially my face; just to make sure everything checked out. I got smarter as I got older (and the more assholes I went through), I learned to get rid of abusive boyfriends quick. She basically told me not to wait for them to hit me. If there is any kind of anger or force that could rise up into a physical abuse state, I should dump the boyfriend as quickly as possible. Maybe I'll just stay single forever to solve this problem. I don't know why 95% of the guys that I have dated have hit me, or been psycho. There are 2 guys that I have dated that I dumped simply because I thought we were better as friends, and it worked out that way. It just gets me sometimes when I see people with their happy relationships. I don't know the feeling. I don't know the feeling of having a boyfriend and them being nice to me and not looking to abuse for an answer. I can't be that horrible of a person. I rule my looks out in this (even though I'm not the greatest thing to look at) because the guys I've dated have been quite decent looking. Mlahh. I don't really know what to do anymore.
I've been so utterly stressed out lately. It's so unlike me. The littlest things have set me off. I don't like when I snap at my family or my friends. Dislikes I had for some people have been even stronger lately. I've been working a lot more than usual, but I've about had it with Wood River. I feel like I'm not as close as I was with certain people before. I don't feel wanted by my friends, unless it's Ricky. He doesn't really have an option since we've known eachother for 16 years. Ever since some friends have gotten into controlling relationships, I haven't seen them; unless it's Brett. He doesn't give a shit about what Marie thinks. I don't feel like I have a solid friend to fall back on. I have no one to talk about my problems without sounding like I'm complaining. My whole life is a mess. I used to be able to smile and get on with things, but it's become really difficult lately.
After my MRI and that bullshit, I went and saw my Pop since he was staying at the same hospital. He looked horrible. I cried for the longest time. The doctor said he didn't know when my Pop would be allowed out, or even if he was even going to be released. I told my grandmom I couldn't stay there anymore. She ran me home real quick where I just sat in my room being upset for about an hour until Ricky called asking how things went. He heard the upset-choke in my voice, so he came over. We played Sega. ::shrug:: Nothing out of the ordinary. He stayed until I had to go to work.
Oh, work was the usual retards not knowing how to handle themselves. The only upside though that Kara didn't do a bad job for her first time hosting.
::SIGH::
Anywho, I went... did a punch of tests and what not. They found a small crack in my right cheekbone that nothing can be really done. I just have to wait it out. The doctor is putting me on a high dosage of calcium mediacation to help my bones get stronger since they break so easily. Part of it is the fact that I barely drink milk (I don't like it that much). Then she told me about how I have to try and lessen the amount of damage I take to my face because my cheekbones and shit are wearing down. I've been seeing Dr. Fran since I was 12. Haha. My first 3/4 breaks were due to non-relationship reasons. All hockey. Then when I started dating (around 14) is where physical abuse started. Jay was my first boyfriend, and the first to start the abuse trend. When we had broken up, he had taken my nose with him. Hah. I had some problems with him about 6 months after the break up where he basically mutulated by face every time... Dr. Fran suggested that I started seeing on a regular basis if I take any major blows to my body, especially my face; just to make sure everything checked out. I got smarter as I got older (and the more assholes I went through), I learned to get rid of abusive boyfriends quick. She basically told me not to wait for them to hit me. If there is any kind of anger or force that could rise up into a physical abuse state, I should dump the boyfriend as quickly as possible. Maybe I'll just stay single forever to solve this problem. I don't know why 95% of the guys that I have dated have hit me, or been psycho. There are 2 guys that I have dated that I dumped simply because I thought we were better as friends, and it worked out that way. It just gets me sometimes when I see people with their happy relationships. I don't know the feeling. I don't know the feeling of having a boyfriend and them being nice to me and not looking to abuse for an answer. I can't be that horrible of a person. I rule my looks out in this (even though I'm not the greatest thing to look at) because the guys I've dated have been quite decent looking. Mlahh. I don't really know what to do anymore.
I've been so utterly stressed out lately. It's so unlike me. The littlest things have set me off. I don't like when I snap at my family or my friends. Dislikes I had for some people have been even stronger lately. I've been working a lot more than usual, but I've about had it with Wood River. I feel like I'm not as close as I was with certain people before. I don't feel wanted by my friends, unless it's Ricky. He doesn't really have an option since we've known eachother for 16 years. Ever since some friends have gotten into controlling relationships, I haven't seen them; unless it's Brett. He doesn't give a shit about what Marie thinks. I don't feel like I have a solid friend to fall back on. I have no one to talk about my problems without sounding like I'm complaining. My whole life is a mess. I used to be able to smile and get on with things, but it's become really difficult lately.
After my MRI and that bullshit, I went and saw my Pop since he was staying at the same hospital. He looked horrible. I cried for the longest time. The doctor said he didn't know when my Pop would be allowed out, or even if he was even going to be released. I told my grandmom I couldn't stay there anymore. She ran me home real quick where I just sat in my room being upset for about an hour until Ricky called asking how things went. He heard the upset-choke in my voice, so he came over. We played Sega. ::shrug:: Nothing out of the ordinary. He stayed until I had to go to work.
Oh, work was the usual retards not knowing how to handle themselves. The only upside though that Kara didn't do a bad job for her first time hosting.
::SIGH::
posted by ewectwonic @ 2:57 PM
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